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the chart shows the percentage of people who ate five portion of fruit and vegetables in one day in the UK

the chart shows the percentage of people who ate five portion of fruit and vegetables in one day in the UK RgQp
the bar chat illustrate the percentage of people who ate five portion of fruit and vegetables in one day in the UK from 2001 to 2008. Now i talk about percentage of people who ate food. first of all, i talk about men ate the fruits and vegetables per day in the UK. In 2001 approximately 17% men ate vegetables and fruits in one day. After 2 years the percentage was same. In 2004, little bit increase in men ate vegetables and fruits. Then after every year men ate gradually increase in 2007 approximately 27%. In last year 2008, men decrease our percentage 29% to 26%. Now women in 2001 ate vegetables and fruits is 22%. Then after every year women gradually increasing ate food in 2006 is 35% above. After 1 year minimum decrease in percentage approximately 30%. Then last year in 2008 again little bit decrease in percentage is 28%. Then talk about children. In 2001, children ate vegetables and fruits is only 13%. The percentage was same after 2 years. Then in 2004, children percentage increase approximately 24%. Then their percentage gradually increase and reached on 28%. In 2007, percentage is same. After one year in 2008, children percentage minimum decrease and reached on 26%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar chat illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
five portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
in one day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
food.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
talk about
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men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
per day in the UK. In 2001
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
17%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
in one day.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
2 years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was same. In 2004,
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
. Then after every
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in 2007
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
27%. In last
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year
2008,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
29% to 26%.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
women in 2001
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ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
is 22%. Then after every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
women
gradually
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
food in 2006 is 35% above.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
30%. Then last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in 2008 again
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is 28%. Then talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In 2001,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
13%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was same after 2 years. Then in 2004,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
24%. Then their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
and reached on 28%. In 2007,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is same. After one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in 2008,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
and reached on 26%.
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IELTS academic the chart shows the percentage of people who ate five portion of fruit and vegetables in one day in the UK

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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