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The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain.

The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. 8YjG
The bar chart provides information about the percentages of participation by boys and girls in Great Britain. Overall, between girls and boys have balance rates to do outdoor activities except football. In 1999, the highest activity that males did in Great Britain was football which reached almost 70 participants while woman less than half in 20 rates. On the other hand, youth people showed balance interesting in hiking by up to 20 figures, and at the same time skate boarding demonstrated slightly differences among the teenagers by fewer than 30. Ladies proved high enthusiastic in swimming than boys by reaching up to 50 figures and less than 50 rates for boys. Males prefer to go cycling than females with 5 ranges of number and tennis been in the lowest figures of participant with 23 for boys and under 20 for girls. In conclusion, football got highest fans to play among the Britain’s youth in 1999. The remained sports showed equal rates among two genders.
The bar chart provides information about the percentages of participation by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls in Great Britain.
Overall
, between girls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
have balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
to do outdoor activities except football.

In 1999, the highest activity that males did in Great Britain was football which reached almost 70 participants while woman less than half in 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
On the other hand
, youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
balance interesting in hiking by up to 20 figures, and at the same time skate boarding demonstrated
slightly
differences among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
by fewer than 30. Ladies proved high enthusiastic in swimming than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
by reaching up to 50 figures and less than 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. Males prefer to go cycling than females with 5 ranges of number and tennis been in the lowest figures of participant with 23 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and under 20 for girls.

In conclusion
, football
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
fans to play among the Britain’s youth in 1999. The remained sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
among two genders.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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