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The chart shows the number of basketball players in 4 American states between 1990 and 2000.

The chart shows the number of basketball players in 4 American states between 1990 and 2000. 2a3Y6
Presented for consideration is a line graph detailing finguers for the number of people who played basketball in 4 American states throughout the period from 1990 to 2000 Overall, it can be see that the amount of player in Florida and Wisconsin increased, while Texas and Arizona saw a decreased. It can also observed that Wisconsin always had more player than another state in the same time period. Looking at the number of Floridas who played, they started at 1 million and go up gradually and reached a peak about 4 millions by 2000. Similarly, the amount of players in Wisconsin top began at around 5 millions in 199, 0 after steadily rising to more than 6 millions in 2000. Turning to the remaining statistics, the number of player in Texas decreased sharply by one million untis from 1990 to 1996. After that this number dropped gradually to just over 1 millon at the end of the period. Be side, Arizona fluctued between 1990 and 1996, the highest number of player is over 4 millions in 1998, however they were an dramatically falled in 2 last years of period.
Presented for consideration is a line graph detailing
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finguers
for the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who played basketball in 4 American states throughout the period from 1990 to 2000

Overall
, it can be
Did you mean "seen"?
see
that the amount of
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player
in Florida and Wisconsin increased, while Texas and Arizona
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decreased. It can
also
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "observe"
observed
that Wisconsin always had more
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player
than another state in the same time period.

Looking at the
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number
of
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Floridas
who played, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 1
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million
and go up
gradually
and reached a peak about 4
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millions
by 2000.
Similarly
, the amount of
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players
in Wisconsin top began at around 5
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millions
in 199, 0 after
steadily
rising to more than 6
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millions
in 2000.

Turning to the remaining statistics, the
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number
of
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player
in Texas decreased
sharply
by one
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
untis
from 1990 to 1996.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that this
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number
dropped
gradually
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 1
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millon
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. Be side, Arizona
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fluctued
between 1990 and 1996, the highest
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
is over 4
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millions
in 1998,
however
they were
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
dramatically
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fell", the past tense form of the verb 'fall'?
falled
in 2 last years of period.

IELTS academic The chart shows the number of basketball players in 4 American states between 1990 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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