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The chart shows the information about the percentage of men and women for the year 1970 and 2000 who were employed

The chart shows the information about the percentage of men and women for the year 1970 and 2000 who were employed 1beXW
The first bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females, aging between 60-64, hired in four various countries for the year 1970. The second chart provides the same data for the year 2000. Overall, men were employed much more than women across the four countries for the years 1970 and 2000. Further, reduction in employment was seen in 2000, than in 1970. To begin with the year 1970, 79% of men and 62% of women were employed in Belgium. The USA, had the least difference between the men and the women employment percentage of around 7%. Japan and Indonesia had similar difference between the employment count of the two sexes. From the second chart, in 2000 a large variation among the men and women employment was seen for the Belgium, which had over 50% of men employees and women employees of just below 10%. Employment in the USA, showed second huge difference of around 18%, as it had 79% men and just 41% women employed. Japan had almost same percentage of men and women employees. Regarding Indonesia, 71% of men and 50% of women were employed in 2000, which was approximately 10% less than 1970.
The
first
bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females, aging between 60-64, hired in four various countries for the
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year
1970. The second chart provides the same data for the
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year
2000.

Overall
,
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men
were
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employed
much more than
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women
across the four countries for the years 1970 and 2000.
Further
, reduction in
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employment
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 2000, than in 1970.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
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year
1970, 79% of
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men
and 62% of
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women
were
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employed
in Belgium. The USA, had the least difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and the
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women
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employment
percentage of around 7%. Japan and Indonesia had similar difference between the
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employment
count of the two sexes.

From the second chart, in 2000 a large variation among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
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women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for the Belgium, which had over 50% of
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men
employees and
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women
employees of
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just
below 10%.
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Employment
in the USA,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
second huge difference of around 18%, as it had 79%
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men
and
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just
41%
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women
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employed
. Japan had almost same percentage of
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men
and
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women
employees. Regarding Indonesia, 71% of
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men
and 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
in 2000, which was approximately 10% less than 1970.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the information about the percentage of men and women for the year 1970 and 2000 who were employed

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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