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In the horizontal bar chart the drug use by 15 year olds at school in Ottawa Canada is compared

In the horizontal bar chart the drug use by 15 year olds at school in Ottawa Canada is compared PkdjE
The bar graph depicts the information about the percentages of who drug consume by 60 year old students of both genders in jemis school in Ottawa Canada. Overall, it is clear that, the girls and boys are utilized drugs observed remained stable in the all kinds of drugs given. On the contrary, the ratio of female also gradually less than that of the male. On the one hand, the graph shows that the boys used drug almost peak, nearly 32%, while the ratio of girls marginally less than 3% in the school use hasish, which is not noticeable differences. Furthermore, surprisingly, those who used drugs from heroine is not so popular, this figure around 8% of the men and 5% of the women. However, the two drugs are consumed remained static in both genders, such as cooking and solvents. After that, male used by drugs similar in these two drugs but girls used to slightly less from amphetamines. On the other hand, the two drugs are consumed steadily in the given time period, such as, LSD and medical drugs nearly 4% boys and 2% girls respectively. Which is two fold fell of the girls than that of the boys.
The bar graph depicts the information about the percentages of who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
consume by 60 year
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old
students of both genders in
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jemis
school in Ottawa Canada.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the
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girls
and
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boys
are utilized
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drugs
observed remained stable in the all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
On the contrary
, the ratio of female
also
gradually
less than that of the male. On the one hand, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
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boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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drug
almost peak,
nearly
32%, while the ratio of
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girls
marginally
less than 3% in the school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
hasish
, which is not noticeable differences.
Furthermore
,
surprisingly
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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drugs
from heroine is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular, this figure around 8% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 5% of the women.
However
, the two
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drugs
are consumed
remained static in both genders, such as cooking and solvents. After that, male
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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drugs
similar in these two
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drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
slightly
less from amphetamines.
On the other hand
, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are consumed
steadily
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period, such as, LSD and medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
nearly
4%
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boys
and 2%
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girls
respectively
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is
The adjective or adverb 'twofold' needs to be written as one word.
two fold
fell of the
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girls
than that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
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IELTS academic In the horizontal bar chart the drug use by 15 year olds at school in Ottawa Canada is compared

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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