Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart shows the information about salt intake in the US in 2000.

The chart shows the information about salt intake in the US in 2000. drWpX
We can see here that salt intake for male were constantly increasing from age under 6 to 20-29. Why? , it is probably caused by at old age it’s easy to get cholesterol. From the age of 40-60 used over 4 thousand milligrams of salt which is over the recommended adult salt intake. For the age over 60 they started taking serious of the recommended adult salt intake we can see over 60 averaged under 4 thousand milligrams of salt. For female under 6 is consuming below 1500 milligrams which is under the recommended salt intake. From 6-19 they consume 3thousand milligrams of salt which is good its over the recommended salt intake but not too far. And 20-39 is the highest point of consuming salt same as male. As they are getting older they reduce the dose of consuming salt from 3 thousand to 2500 milligrams of salt which is good right at the recommended dose
We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
here that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
for male were
constantly
increasing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
under 6 to 20-29. Why?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
it is
probably
caused by at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
it’s easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cholesterol. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 40-60
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
4 thousand milligrams of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommended
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking serious of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommended
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 averaged under 4 thousand milligrams of salt.

For female under 6 is consuming below 1500 milligrams which is under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
. From 6-19 they consume 3thousand milligrams of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not too far. And 20-39 is the highest point of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
same as male.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they are getting older they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dose of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
from 3 thousand to 2500 milligrams of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
right at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommended
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
dose
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS academic The chart shows the information about salt intake in the US in 2000.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    people attending in seven different performances of artistic activities
    The bar chart compares the proportion of people attending in seven different performances of artistic activities divided by three age groups namely 15-19, 35-44, and 60 and over years old in Canada. Overall, it is clear that while concerts are the most popular art among people, Opera have the least...
  • 5band
    A Family Member You Spend Time With
    A family member I spend time with it's my father I think my father is fascinating person which I met when either. We are have a common hobbies which we can to develop with each other. For instance, we can together play chess or we can play on the PlayStation 4. Also I like observe from nature like m...
  • If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
    Nelson Mandela
  • 6.5band
    Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students prefer studying online rather than face to face.
    E- learning has been gaining popularity in the recent time. More and more tertiary students opt to study online rather than traditional education. Despite the merits of traditional education, the benefits of pursuing study online outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the advantages an...
  • 5.5band
    Online education is becoming increasingly popular.
    E- learning has been gaining popularity in the recent time. More and more tertiary students opt to study online rather than traditional education. Despite the merits of traditional education, the benefits of pursuing study online outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the advantages an...
  • If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
    Nelson Mandela
  • 5band
    the chart shows the annual GDP growth rates in 3 countries from 2007 to 2010.
    The bar chart shows information about the change in GDP per year in three countries from 2007 to 2010. Overall, the rate of GDP growth in Japan increased steadily over the period. However, the figures for the other two nations reduced gradually. In 2007, the annual GDP rate of Tunisa was the highest...
  • 5.5band
    The diagrams below shows the three min structures and improvement in each cooking equipment years ago.
    The pictorial diagram indicates the three manmade devices which illustrate in three categories. This natural process has been running about 1000 years ago. To begin with, the first fire device was a pot which was maintained with three grass and some stones. It gives some stability to the pot. After ...
  • To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
    Chinese Proverb