Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

people attending in seven different performances of artistic activities

people attending in seven different performances of artistic activities gxo1L
The bar chart compares the proportion of people attending in seven different performances of artistic activities divided by three age groups namely 15-19, 35-44, and 60 and over years old in Canada. Overall, it is clear that while concerts are the most popular art among people, Opera have the least enthusiast. Additionally, people aged 60 and over have less interest in participating in art events. In the terms of art events, concerts are the most lovable event for all ages. , and 15-to-19-year-olds with 50% of attendance consist the highest participation. Furthermore, theatrical and popular musical events are in the second place for groups aged under 44, while older group tend to take part in symphonic or classical events more than popular musical ones. Moreover, Opera, choral music, and dancing festivals have the least fan in all ages, having participation rate of less than 10 percent. in addition, people aged 60 and over involve themselves in choral music events more than tow other groups at about 9%, which is about 5 percent higher than the youngest group age.
The bar chart compares the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending in seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
performances of artistic activities divided by three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
namely
15-19, 35-44, and 60 and over years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in Canada.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while concerts are the most popular art among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, Opera have the least enthusiast.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 60 and over have less interest
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in participating in
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In the terms of art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, concerts are the most lovable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
and 15-to-19-year-olds with 50% of attendance consist the highest participation.
Furthermore
, theatrical and popular musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are in the second place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
aged under 44, while older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in symphonic or classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
more than popular musical ones.

Moreover
, Opera, choral music, and dancing festivals have the least fan in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, having participation rate of less than 10 percent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 60 and over involve themselves in choral music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
more than tow other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
at about 9%, which is about 5 percent higher than the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS academic people attending in seven different performances of artistic activities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    A Family Member You Spend Time With
    A family member I spend time with it's my father I think my father is fascinating person which I met when either. We are have a common hobbies which we can to develop with each other. For instance, we can together play chess or we can play on the PlayStation 4. Also I like observe from nature like m...
  • 6.5band
    Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students prefer studying online rather than face to face.
    E- learning has been gaining popularity in the recent time. More and more tertiary students opt to study online rather than traditional education. Despite the merits of traditional education, the benefits of pursuing study online outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the advantages an...
  • I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
    Samuel Johnson
  • 5.5band
    Online education is becoming increasingly popular.
    E- learning has been gaining popularity in the recent time. More and more tertiary students opt to study online rather than traditional education. Despite the merits of traditional education, the benefits of pursuing study online outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the advantages an...
  • 5band
    the chart shows the annual GDP growth rates in 3 countries from 2007 to 2010.
    The bar chart shows information about the change in GDP per year in three countries from 2007 to 2010. Overall, the rate of GDP growth in Japan increased steadily over the period. However, the figures for the other two nations reduced gradually. In 2007, the annual GDP rate of Tunisa was the highest...
  • As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
    Roger Ascham
  • 5.5band
    The diagrams below shows the three min structures and improvement in each cooking equipment years ago.
    The pictorial diagram indicates the three manmade devices which illustrate in three categories. This natural process has been running about 1000 years ago. To begin with, the first fire device was a pot which was maintained with three grass and some stones. It gives some stability to the pot. After ...
  • 6band
    The graph below shows the average years of schooling in four countries from 1900 to 2000. Summarise. . .
    The line graph provides information about the average years of schooling in four countries from 1900 to 200. Overall, it is clear that UK had the highest overage of schooling over the given period of time, while on the other hand South Korea had raised, which is approximately equivalent to the UK. ...
  • Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
    Oliver Wendell Holmes