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the chart shows the information about people within 15 minute drive service in a particular region in UK

the chart shows the information about people within 15 minute drive service in a particular region in UK BNw6
The bar chart shows the information about medical, Postal, and educational services which are within a 15-minute driving radius. The region analyzed is from the UK, with further classification of people into the urban and rural populations. Overall, it is conspicuous that almost every person living in urban areas has medical, postal, and educational services within proximity whereas, few rural people can face difficulty in reaching the post office and primary school with 15 minutes. On analysis, the data shows that 100 percent of people living in the urban area can quickly reach the hospital and secondary school. This is similar in the case of villagers and they also show a 100 percentile record for medical and primary education services. Secondly, on comparing the postal and the primary school services, it is visible that the rural population face few discrepancies, with only 95 % and 65 % of people respectively, living within a 15-minute driving range, whereas 100% of the urban crowd are able to access the services on time
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information about medical, Postal, and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
which are within a 15-minute driving radius. The region analyzed is from the UK, with
further
classification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and rural populations.

Overall
, it is conspicuous that almost every person living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas has medical, postal, and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
within proximity whereas, few rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can face difficulty in reaching the post office and primary school with 15 minutes.

On analysis, the data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 100 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
area can
quickly
reach the hospital and secondary school. This is similar in the case of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
villagers and
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a 100 percentile record for medical and primary education services.

Secondly
, on comparing the postal and the primary school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, it is visible that the rural population face few discrepancies, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
95 % and 65 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respectively
, living within a 15-minute driving range, whereas 100% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
crowd are able to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
on time
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IELTS academic the chart shows the information about people within 15 minute drive service in a particular region in UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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