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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in cement making process and how,cement is being used to produce concrete material in bulidling purpose

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in cement making process and how, cement is being used to produce concrete material in bulidling purpose gwq1
The diagrams highlight two different types of process how cement is produce and how to make concrete with the help of cement. To complete the process all steps are necessary. Overall, both process are man made as well as linear in fashion. In terms of cement production there are 6 steps in which starts from crushing and end at grinding stage. The second diagram show how concrete is produce. To Begin with cement production, limestone and clay are crushed into machine and converted to powder as soon as powder introduced send to the mixture to combine all particles equally. Before being heated the powder are passing through rotating heater after that, the material is conveyed to the grinder in order to carry out cement then ready product are packed into special bags. In terms of concrete production, the first step is to combine 3 different material with water. In that, cement is 15%, a quarter of sand, half of gravel with 10% of water. The raw material undergoes in concrete mixture and rotating left to right in circulation till getting our final product.
The diagrams highlight two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of process how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is produce and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. To complete the process all steps are necessary.

Overall
, both process are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
linear in fashion. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production there are 6 steps in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from crushing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at grinding stage. The second diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how concrete is produce.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Begin
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production, limestone and clay
are crushed
into machine and converted to powder as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as powder introduced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to the mixture to combine all particles
equally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
being heated
the powder are passing through rotating heater after that, the material
is conveyed
to the grinder in order to carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
then ready product
are packed
into special bags.

In terms of concrete production, the
first
step is to combine 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
material with water. In that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is 15%, a quarter of sand, half of gravel with 10% of water. The raw material undergoes in concrete mixture and rotating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to right in circulation till getting our final product.
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IELTS academic The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in cement making process and how, cement is being used to produce concrete material in bulidling purpose

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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