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The chart shows that how many hours per week the average person spent on different types of social media, watching TV, browsing the internet, listening to the radio and also reading books.

The chart shows that how many hours per week the average person spent on different types of social media, watching TV, browsing the internet, listening to the radio and also reading books. eK0PO
The chart shows that how many hours per week the average person spent on different types of social media, watching TV, browsing the internet, listening to the radio and also reading books. In the years between 1990 to 2005. Overall, the average number of people, mostly watch Television. However, Decreasing from 1990 to 2005. The internet is increasing. Furthermore, the Radio is almost constant over the period of time. And printed material is slightly decreased. To begin with, from 1990 to 1995 the Television was steady(no changed). Over 1995 people reduced the time to watch the Television. It was decreased. However, it was the maximum hours spent on Television. The average number of people spent 25 hours watching Television. The very less time spent on The internet in 1990 the zero people were surfing. In 1995, people started using just a few hours spent, such as 1 or 2 hours, then in 2000, it increased to 14 hours per week.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week the average person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of social media, watching TV, browsing the internet, listening to the radio and
also
reading books. In the years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1990 and 2005".
between 1990 to 2005
.

Overall
, the average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
.
However
, Decreasing from 1990 to 2005. The internet is increasing.
Furthermore
, the Radio is almost constant over the period of time. And printed material is
slightly
decreased.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, from 1990 to 1995 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
was steady(
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
). Over 1995
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
. It
was decreased
.
However
, it was the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
. The average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on The internet in 1990 the zero
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were surfing. In 1995,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
, such as 1 or 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, then in 2000, it increased to 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week.

IELTS academic The chart shows that how many hours per week the average person spent on different types of social media, watching TV, browsing the internet, listening to the radio and also reading books.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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