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The chart shows information relating to UK music sales from 1990 to 2020.

The chart shows information relating to UK music sales from 1990 to 2020. y7elP
The illustrated chart classifies the total number of music sales in UK by various products such as CDs, Cassettes, Downloaded music and Vinyl over a course of 3 decades, starting from 1990 till 2020. The annual sales is given in pounds sterling. Overall, The music sales in Britain did not see any significant profit except for digital. However digital music did not even come into picture for a whole decade, by the end of which, saw a steady rise. Whereas the other types were still at the bottom. Digital music, on one hand, started off with its growth in 2010, reached 2000 pounds sterling in 10 years with a tremendous growth. The other types of British music listeners such as vinyl, cassettes merely achieved any profit in Britain. Whereas CDs, did start with a profit in 1990, witnessed peak in 2000, but further saw an steady decrease by the end years.
The illustrated chart classifies the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sales in UK by various products such as CDs, Cassettes, Downloaded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and Vinyl over a course of 3 decades, starting
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1990 to 2020"?
from 1990 till 2020
. The annual sales is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in pounds sterling.
Overall
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sales in Britain did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any significant profit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
digital.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
did not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into picture for a whole decade, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of which,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady rise.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the other types were
still
at the bottom. Digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, on one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with its growth in 2010, reached
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
2000 pounds
sterling in 10 years with a tremendous growth. The other types of British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
listeners such as vinyl, cassettes
merely
achieved any profit in Britain. Whereas CDs, did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with a profit in 1990, witnessed peak in 2000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
steady decrease by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
years.
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IELTS academic The chart shows information relating to UK music sales from 1990 to 2020.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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