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The chart shows information about global sales of games software, CDS and DVDs. Wrtie a report.

The chart shows information about global sales of games software, CDS and DVDs. Wrtie a report. DlWDk
The bar graph shows the changes in relation to worldwide sales of electronic games, such as DVDs, CDs or software games during the period 2000 and 2003. It can be seen that the overall trend was the DVD becoming more popular over the years. meanwhile, CDs and games software was slightly increasing its sales. During those 3 years, the DVDs gained more place in the market. In 2000 the sales of DVDs were about 15 $ billion and in 2003 DVDs sales increased and were 30 $ billion. In contrast, CD and software games did not improve their sales. The sales of CDS over the years were approximately the same each year, about 30 $ billion. Sales of software games increased gradually over those three years, reaching their maximum in 2003 at nearly 20$ billion. Overall, the main trend during this period of time was the gradually increased sales of DVDs. They were becoming more and more popular in the early years of the 21st century.
The bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in relation to worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, such as DVDs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
during the period 2000 and 2003. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
overall
trend was the DVD becoming more popular over the years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
meanwhile
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
was
slightly
increasing its sales.

During those 3 years, the DVDs gained more place in the market. In 2000 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of DVDs were about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$15".
15 $
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
and in 2003 DVDs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
increased and were
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$30".
30 $
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
.
In contrast
, CD and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDS
over the years were approximately the same each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$30".
30 $
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
increased
gradually
over those three years, reaching their maximum in 2003 at
nearly
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$20".
20$
billion.

Overall
, the main trend during this period of time was the
gradually
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of DVDs. They were becoming more and more popular in the early years of the 21st century.

IELTS academic The chart shows information about global sales of games software, CDS and DVDs. Wrtie a report.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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