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The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comprasions where relevant.

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. aGDw
The chart indicates British Emigration is particular destinations from 2004 to 2007. Overall, the chart informs us that there are some fluctuations, rooted in the numbers of years. However, the emigration numbers are around the same amount throughout the years. The first country is Australia. The Emigration to Australia, was about 42 thousands in 2004, before down to almost 38 and up to approximately 53 and again down to around 44 thousands of the emigrants within the years. The second country is Spain. The Emigration to this country was not on the top of the chart. However, it was about peak of the emigration countries. The amount of emigrants were almost 34 thousands in 2004. İt was reached to about 35 and, down to around 32, and, a bit down to approximately 27 thousands of the emigrants during the years The third country is New Zealand, the amount of emigrants has reduced throughout the years. İn 2004, it was around 24 thousands of the emigrants, before it has decreased to about 23, and 21, and to around 20 thousands along the years. The fourth country is U. S. A. İt was around 23 thousands in 2004. İn 2005, 2006, and 2007, it has diminished to approximately 18, around 23, and 20 thousands of the emigrants. The last country is France. The Emigrations to the France was around 22 thousands by 2004. İt has raised up to 34 thousands and back down again to 27 thousands of the emigrants respectively. İt was at the lowest amount in 2007, with almost 18 thousands of thr emigrants.
The chart indicates British Emigration is particular destinations from 2004 to 2007.

Overall
, the chart informs us that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, rooted in the numbers of years.
However
, the emigration numbers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
throughout the years.

The
first
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country
is Australia. The Emigration to Australia, was about 42 thousands in 2004,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
to almost 38 and up to approximately 53 and again
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "44 thousand".
44 thousands of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
within the years.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second
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country
is Spain.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
Emigration to this
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country
was not on the top of the chart.
However
, it was about peak of the emigration
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countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
Possible agreement error
were
almost 34 thousands in 2004.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
was reached
to about 35 and,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
32, and, a bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
to approximately
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "27 thousand".
27 thousands of
the
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emigrants
during the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
years


The third
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country
is New Zealand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
has r
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
educed
throughout the years.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
2004, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "24 thousand".
24 thousands of
the
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emigrants
, be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fore i
t has decreased to about 23, and 21, and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
20 thousands along the years.

The fourth
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country
is U. S. A.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
23 thousands in 2004.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
2005, 2006, and 2007, it has diminished to approximately 18,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
23, and
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "20 thousand".
20 thousands of
the emigrants.

The last
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country
is France. The Emigrations to the France was
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around
22 thousands by 2004.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
has raised up to 34 thousands and back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
again to
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "27 thousand".
27 thousands of
the
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emigrants
respectively
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İt
was at the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
in 2007, with almost
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "18 thousand".
18 thousands of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thr
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
.
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IELTS academic The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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