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The below chart show the protection and percentage of population in three different countries from 1988 to 2000

The below chart show the protection and percentage of population in three different countries from 1988 to 2000 aGpw
The report is being written about the information and estimated regarding the exchange in proprtion of the population aged 65 and above in three different countries from 1988 to 2000. overall, the population of Canada and Germany higher than UK in both given year and predicted year. in the term, of Canadian population 6. 32 in 1988 with 4% least percentage as compare to 2000 moreover, in predicted year it will reached at 20 6. 35 however the population of UK remain study at 14 point 23% in both given year 1988 and 2000 while in 2030 it will estimated about 20. 35 % furthermore, the population of Germany faced a gradual increase from 20. 45 % 22. 0 5. 30 32% between 1988 and 2000 but in estimated year it will not about one third.
The report is
being written
about the information and estimated regarding the exchange in
Possible spelling mistake found.
proprtion
of the
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population
aged 65 and above in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries from 1988 to 2000.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, the
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population
of Canada and Germany higher than UK in both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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year
and predicted
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year
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the term, of Canadian
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population
6. 32 in 1988 with 4%
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
percentage as compare to 2000
moreover
, in predicted
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year
it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "reach"
reached
at 20 6. 35
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of UK remain study at 14 point 23% in both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1988 and 2000 while in 2030 it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "estimate"
estimated
about 20. 35 %
furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Germany faced a gradual increase from 20. 45 % 22. 0 5. 30 32% between 1988 and 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in estimated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it will not about one third.

IELTS academic The below chart show the protection and percentage of population in three different countries from 1988 to 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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