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the chart show the consumption of fastfood by teenagers in Mauritius

the chart show the consumption of fastfood by teenagers in Mauritius eEgjG
The line graph illustrates the expenditure of junk food including Hamburgers, Pizza and Fried chicken by Teenagers in Mauritius in 3 decades. It is clear that Hamburgers and Fried chicken were the dominant items which were on an upward trend between 1985 and 2010 while the number of times consumed Pizza decreased after 30 years. In the first years of the period, the times of Hamburger’s expending stood at 10 times, after which this figure continued to dramatically rise by 60 times and reached the highest at 70 in 2010. This figure in Fried chicken, from 1985 to 2005, escalated by 55 times to 60 times, at which point, it plateaued in this level until 2010, then there was a slight rise in the number of times eaten this kind of fast food. The opposite was true for the times of eating Pizza which comprised 60 times before falling continuously by 50 times after 3 decades.
The line graph illustrates the expenditure of junk food including Hamburgers, Pizza and Fried chicken by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
in Mauritius in 3 decades.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Hamburgers and Fried chicken were the dominant items which were on an upward trend between 1985 and 2010 while the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
consumed Pizza decreased after 30 years.

In the
first
years of the period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of Hamburger’s expending stood at 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, after which this figure continued to
dramatically
rise by 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and reached the highest at 70 in 2010. This figure in Fried chicken, from 1985 to 2005, escalated by 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, at which point, it plateaued in this level until 2010, then there was a slight rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
eaten this kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.

The opposite was true for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of eating Pizza which comprised 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
continuously
by 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
after 3 decades.
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IELTS academic the chart show the consumption of fastfood by teenagers in Mauritius

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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