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the chart show the changes in household

the chart show the changes in household p15wy
The given line graphs illustrate the data on the changes of household electrical appliances in love 99 years (1920-2019)and the number of hours household spent per week in one country. Overall, the different household activities have shown as percentages of housework such as using washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner. At the beginning of the year in 1920 the highest percentage took by using the washing machine while refrigerator has 0%, but it has shown an upward movement and it reached 100% in 1980 from that year onward it showed static line. On the other hand, the vacuum clear using has shown 30%in 1920, however in the year 2000, the percentage depicts as 100%. As well, in the 1920household spent 50hours per week of house works, but the line shows downward movement from 50 hours to 10 hours per week. The deduction has represented by 40 hours.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graphs illustrate the data on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of
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household
electrical appliances in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
99 years (1920-2019)and the number of
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hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
spent per week in one country.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
activities have shown as percentages of housework such as using washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner. At the beginning of the
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year
in 1920 the highest percentage took by using the washing machine while refrigerator has 0%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has shown an upward movement and it reached 100% in 1980 from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
onward it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
static line.
On the other hand
, the vacuum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
using has shown 30%in 1920,
however
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000, the percentage depicts as 100%.
As well
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
1920household
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
50hours
per week of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
downward movement from 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week. The deduction has represented by 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
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IELTS academic the chart show the changes in household

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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