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The chart show British emigration from different destination between 2004 to 2008

The bar chart depicts the information that how many British people moved to Australia, Spain, Newzland, America and France during 2004 to 2007. The data calibrated in numbers. Analysing the graph deeply, it is vivid that in the year of 2006, more than 50 thousand inhabitants emigrated from Australia, while, passengers was less emigration by the other nations. Moreover, people who were coming from New Zealand, they were decreasing every year. Approximately 30 thousand individuals were passed in British from France 2005. Moving forward, people emigrated by nation of Spain that was around 35 thousand aspect 2007, that period of time merely 28 thousand people were coming British. In addition, American person who was coming British in the years of 2004 and 2006 the numbers was equal, but the people amount was different in another two years. Overall, it is clearly seen that maximum people were coming from Australia in British whereas passengers was reached I'm equal numbers from Newzland.
The bar chart depicts the information that how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Australia, Spain,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newzland
, America and France during 2004 to 2007. The data calibrated in numbers.

Possible spelling mistake. ‘Analysing’ is British English.
Analysing
the graph
deeply
, it is vivid that in the year of 2006, more than 50 thousand inhabitants emigrated from Australia, while, passengers was less emigration by the other nations.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
from New Zealand, they were decreasing every year. Approximately 30 thousand individuals
were passed
in British from France 2005.

Moving forward,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emigrated by nation of Spain that was around 35 thousand aspect 2007, that period of time
merely
28 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
British.
In addition
, American person who was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
British in the years of 2004 and 2006 the numbers was equal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
amount was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in another two years.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coming
from Australia in British whereas passengers
was reached
I'm equal numbers from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newzland
.
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IELTS academic The chart show British emigration from different destination between 2004 to 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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