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The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in six different types of profession across the UK in 2007.

The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in six different types of profession across the UK in 2007. 0Annn
The bar chart compares men and women executives who live in UK in terms of their professions. The units are measured in percentage. Data come from the year 2007. Initially, The number of people who have teaching and construction profession is the highest, which accounted for 90% in 2007. As for, figures for women being teacher were more much than men, whereas the number of men working in consturction sector were more higher than women. Men hardly chose being teacher and therapist, while the similar trend can be seen for women working in contruction sector, which were 10% of the whole this profession. When it comes to ones chosing be a journalist, the two genders were at the same rate. Males chose science and law slightly more than women, which were 60% and almost 55% respectively. But, females preferred advertising sector which was virtually 55% and being therapist which was just over 80% more than males.
The bar chart compares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
executives who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in UK in terms of their professions. The units
are measured
in percentage. Data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the year 2007.

Initially
, The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have teaching and construction profession is the highest, which accounted for 90% in 2007.

As for, figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being teacher were more much than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, whereas the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
working in
Possible spelling mistake found.
consturction
sector were
Use only "higher" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more higher
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
hardly chose
If 'chose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
teacher and therapist, while the similar trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
working in
Possible spelling mistake found.
contruction
sector, which were 10% of the whole this profession.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to ones
Possible spelling mistake found.
chosing
be a journalist, the two genders were at the same rate. Males chose science and law
slightly
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which were 60% and almost 55%
respectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, females preferred advertising sector which was
virtually
55% and being therapist which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 80% more than males.
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IELTS academic The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in six different types of profession across the UK in 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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