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The chart illustrates the destination of the UK graduate and postgraduate who did not have a full time job in four categories which are part time,voluntary,further study and unemployment in 2008.

The chart illustrates the destination of the UK graduate and postgraduate who did not have a full time job in four categories which are part time, voluntary, further study and unemployment in 2008. 1VYnn
In general, a significant number of graduate and postgraduate students tend to further study. As can be seen, The number of graduate students who did part About 29665 and 2735 graduates and postgraduates, respectively, liked to continue their studies plan. Furthermore, nearly 17735 graduate students and almost 2535 postgraduates did part-time jobs which was The second most popular job, among this group. Also, the number of graduate students who did part-time jobs was very similar to unemployed students with 26235 numbers. However, there was a dramatic difference between these two categories in postgraduates students. In fact, the number of unemployed postgraduate students was 1000 less than part time students. On the other hand, Just 3500 graduated students and 345 postgraduate students did voluntary jobs, which was the less common career among these four fields. In summary, It is obvious most of the students in the UK who did not desire to do a full-time job after graduation liked to have a further study plan in 2008.
In general
, a significant
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number
of
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graduate
and
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postgraduate
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students
tend to
further
study.

As can be
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seen
, The
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number
of
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graduate
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students
who did part

About 29665 and 2735
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graduates
and
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postgraduates
,
respectively
, liked to continue their studies plan.
Furthermore
,
nearly
17735
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graduate
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students
and almost 2535
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postgraduates
did part-time
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jobs
which was The second most popular
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job
, among this group.

Also
, the
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number
of
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who did part-time
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jobs
was
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very
similar to unemployed
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students
with 26235
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numbers
.
However
, there was a dramatic difference between these two categories in
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postgraduates
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students
. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unemployed
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postgraduate
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students
was 1000 less than
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
students.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
3500 graduated
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students
and 345
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postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
did voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, which was the less common career among these four fields.

In summary, It is obvious most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the UK who did not desire to do a full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduation liked to have a
further
study plan in 2008.

IELTS academic The chart illustrates the destination of the UK graduate and postgraduate who did not have a full time job in four categories which are part time, voluntary, further study and unemployment in 2008.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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