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The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who overweight in one country from 1965 to 2015.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who overweight in one country from 1965 to 2015. 6lMkG
The pie chart illustrates which range of wight in the adult population in 4 categorize in 2015, while the bar charts show the percentage of adults who are obese between 1965 and 2015. In general, it can be seen that the ratio of overweight people increases during this time, and in 2015 approximately over a quarter of the socity were overweight. As you can see on the bar chart, the number of people who suffer from overweight between 1965 and 1985 was stabled around %55. However, by the time, in 1985 we can see an increasing trend had been started, and the ratio of fat people gradully rose until reached under %70 in 2005. Also, this increasing trand had countinued to get over %75 in 2015. In addition, as mentioned in the pie chart below, we can see that, just over the quarter of society was in good shape and around %31 of adults were out of standard weight while about %34 of people was obese or too fat. However, approximately %6 was dangerously fat and were at risk.
The pie
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chart
illustrates which
Possible agreement error. The noun 'wight' seems to be countable; consider using: "range of wights".
range of wight
in the adult population in 4 categorize in 2015, while the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the percentage of adults who are obese between 1965 and 2015.
In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the ratio of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increases during this time, and in 2015 approximately over a quarter of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socity
were overweight.

As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the bar
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chart
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from overweight between 1965 and 1985
was stabled
around %55.
However
, by the time, in 1985 we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an increasing trend had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, and the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
gradully
rose until reached under %70 in 2005.
Also
, this increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
trand
had
Possible spelling mistake found.
countinued
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over %75 in 2015.
In addition
, as mentioned in the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
below, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over the quarter of society was in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape and around %31 of adults were out of standard weight while about %34 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was obese or too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
However
, approximately %6 was
dangerously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and were at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who overweight in one country from 1965 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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