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the chart below shows the world's energy use in 2010. Global breakdown of energy consumption 2010

the chart below shows the world's energy use in 2010. Global breakdown of energy consumption 2010 nXxwn
the pie chart shows the usage of different energy resources and the breakdown of renewable energies by percentage in 2010. according to the pie chart, most of our power source is provided by petroleum, which is 39 percent. also, 45 percent of the world's energy comes from natural gas and coal together. which shows how dependent we are on these energy sources. much less energy is provided from renewable and nuclear electric power. as the bar on the right shows, within the renewable sector, there are, a number of different energy supplies, such as wood-based energy which is the largest among these with 53 percent, and next, we have hydroelectric power which supplies 36 percent of our energy, while wind power is the smallest, at 1 percent. in addition, very small percentages of solar and geothermal energy are consumed. to sum up, although we use some renewable energy, we are still significantly dependent on fossil fuels.
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the
pie chart
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shows
the usage of
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different
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energy
resources and the breakdown of
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renewable
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energies
by percentage in 2010.

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according
to the pie chart, most of our
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power
source
is provided
by petroleum, which is 39
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percent
.
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also
, 45
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percent
of the world's
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from natural gas and coal together.
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which
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shows
how dependent we are on these
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energy
sources.

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much
less
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energy
is provided
from
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renewable
and nuclear electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
.
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as
the bar on the right
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shows
, within the
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renewable
sector, there are, a number of
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
supplies, such as wood-based
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energy
which is the largest among these with 53
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percent
, and
next
, we have hydroelectric
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power
which supplies 36
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percent
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, while wind
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power
is the smallest, at 1
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percent
.
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in
addition,
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentages of solar and geothermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are consumed
.

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to
sum up, although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, we are
still
significantly
dependent on fossil fuels.
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the world's energy use in 2010. Global breakdown of energy consumption 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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