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The chart below shows the total number of minutes ( in billions ) of telephone calls in the UK , divided into three categories, from 1995-20002

The chart below shows the total number of minutes ( in billions ) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-20002 P6B2
The bar chart shows the total time in (minutes) for three different types of calls in the UK during the period between 1995 and 2002. During the mentioned period, local calls from fixed lines were the majority of all other types. On the other hand, mobile calls took the most less time among them all. In 1995 (at the begging of the period) local calls were the longest with 70 billion minutes, while mobile phones took the shortest time with almost 5 billion minutes, However, national and international calls show a slight increase during the years, while mobile calls show a higher increase during the same period. In 1999 the local calls showed the longest time of calls with 90 billion minutes, just before it becomes to decrease of the first time to reach almost 72 billion minutes in 2002.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the total
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time
in (minutes) for three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
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calls
in the UK during the period between 1995 and 2002.

During the mentioned period, local
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calls
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
lines were the majority of all other types.
On the other hand
, mobile
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calls
took the
Use only "less" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most less
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time
among them all.

In 1995 (at the begging of the period) local
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calls
were the longest with 70
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billion
minutes, while mobile phones took the shortest
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time
with almost 5
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billion
minutes,
However
, national and international
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calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a slight increase during the years, while mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a higher increase during the same period.

In 1999 the local
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calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the longest
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time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
with 90
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billion
minutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it becomes to decrease of the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach almost 72
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes in 2002.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of minutes ( in billions ) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-20002

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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