Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. GKKj
Pie chart, illustrates the amount of students who graduated from University of Brighton in the year 2019. After being graduated students got employed in eight different sectors. The scale is in percentage. To being with, Service industries was the sector with highest number of students getting employed in with 33 percent, moving forward to other sectors in minimum numbers of students to took upon jobs were in manufacturing with approximately industry with 16. 3 percent where as similarly close number of students were in education sector with 14. 7 percent along with a little less in politics and government by 12. 1 percent. On the flip side, least number of students who chose to work in sectors are such as Science and technology with 7. 3% furthermore with fewer graduates have seen in child service with 5. 6% and least chosen sectors were other also charity with 2. 8% and 0. 1% respectively Overall, the highest number of students were in blue collar minimum numbers were to be seen in pink collar jobs least with white collar jobs.
Pie chart, illustrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who graduated from University of Brighton in the year 2019.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
being graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employed in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. The scale is in percentage.

To
Did you mean "begin"?
being
with, Service industries was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
getting employed in with 33 percent, moving forward to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to took upon jobs were in manufacturing with approximately industry with 16. 3 percent
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
similarly
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were in education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
with 14. 7 percent along with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less in politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by 12. 1 percent.

On the flip side,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who chose to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are such as Science and technology with 7. 3%
furthermore
with fewer graduates have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in child service with 5. 6% and least chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were other
also
charity with 2. 8% and 0. 1%
respectively


Overall
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were in blue collar minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
were to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in pink collar jobs least with white collar jobs.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts