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The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. E1KL
The bar chart illustrates the data of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. First of all, the percentage of households in owned accommodation experiences an increase trend. In 1918, the percentage stood at 23% which is the lowest point between 1918 and 2011. After that, the figure remained stable between 1939 and 1953, which was approximately 31%. Then, there was a dramatically rise, peaking at 69% in2001, but finally, the percentage decrease again, ending at 64% in 2011. In contrast, the percentage of households in rented accommodation experiences a decreased trend. In 1918, the percentage accounted for 77%, while the figure decreased rapidly until 1917, the percentage of households in rented accommodation was 50%. After that, the figure plunged to its lowest point in 2001 which was about 31%. Finally ended at 36% of households in rated accommodation. Overall, the percentage of households in owned accommodation increased significantly. On the other hand, the percentage of rented accommodation decreased dramatically.
The bar chart illustrates the data of
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households
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
and rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
experiences an increase trend. In 1918, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
stood at 23% which is the lowest point between 1918 and 2011. After that, the figure remained stable between 1939 and 1953, which was approximately 31%. Then, there was a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rise') instead of another adjective.
dramatically rise
, peaking at 69% in2001,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
finally
, the
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percentage
decrease again, ending at 64% in 2011.

In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
experiences a decreased trend. In 1918, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
accounted for 77%, while the figure decreased
rapidly
until 1917, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
was 50%. After that, the figure plunged to its lowest point in 2001 which was about 31%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
ended at 36% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in rated accommodation.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
increased
significantly
.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
decreased
dramatically
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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