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5 – year CO2 EMISSION IN JAPAN

5 – year CO2 EMISSION IN JAPAN bDbwW
The bar graph above indicates carbon-dioxide emission in Japan through a period of 5 years starting from 2008 and ending at 2012. The emission levels are measured in kg/KWh. Graphically, the emission of carbon-dioxide is found to be fluctuating over the years mentioned. The amount of carbon dioxide emission in the year 2008 stood at almost 750 kg/KWh. However, the level of carbon dioxide that was emitted dropped slightly to 710 kg/KWh in the subsequent year. If the graph is scrutinized carefully, then it becomes clear that, the carbon dioxide emitted has leveled off with the carbon dioxide emitted in the preceding year. The year 2011, seems to have witnessed the lowest emission of carbon dioxide. From the graph it can be inferred that emission as low as nearly 580 kg/KWh is let out into the environment in that year. On the other hand, the year 2012, has experienced a steady increase in the emission of the toxic gas. Overall, it can be deduced that the year 2008 has undergone the highest amount of carbon dioxide emission followed by the years 2009 and 2010. While, the year 2011 has the lowest amount of carbon dioxide emission.
The bar graph above indicates carbon-dioxide
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emission
in Japan through a period of 5 years starting from 2008 and ending at 2012. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
levels
are measured
in kg/
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
.

Graphically
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
of carbon-dioxide
is found
to be fluctuating over the years mentioned. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008 stood at almost 750 kg/
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
.
However
, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide that
was emitted
dropped
slightly
to 710 kg/
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
in the subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. If the graph
is scrutinized
carefully
, then it becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide emitted has leveled off with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide emitted in the preceding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011, seems to have witnessed the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide. From the graph it can
be inferred
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
as low as
nearly
580 kg/
Possible spelling mistake found.
KWh
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
out into the environment in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012, has experienced a steady increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
of the toxic gas.

Overall
, it can
be deduced
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008 has undergone the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
followed by the years 2009 and 2010.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the
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year
2011 has the lowest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
.
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IELTS academic 5 – year CO2 EMISSION IN JAPAN

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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