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The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006. kkBW
The given bar graph shows the percentage of youngers use Internet at different age in Britain. The age group start from 16 years to 65+ use highest to least internet respectively. The main users of the internet were young adults aged between 16 and 24 years. In 2003 and 2004, they shared same percentage, which was 80%. In 2005 it’s suddenly increased to 100%, but decreased in 2006 by 10%. Next age group was 25 and 44 years, we can see that gradual growth in percentage, from 50 to 80%, between 2003 and 2006. In chart it shows similar use of internet in age 45 to 54 slightly changed in year 2004 rising 60%. Age group 55 to 64 and 65+ this two age group used less internet as compared to 16 and 54
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Internet at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in Britain. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from 16 years to 65+
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
highest to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
internet
respectively
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
main users of the internet were young adults aged between 16 and 24 years. In 2003 and 2004, they shared same percentage, which was 80%. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2005, it".
2005 it
’s
suddenly
increased to 100%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
decreased in 2006 by 10%.

Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
was 25 and 44 years, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that gradual growth in percentage, from 50 to 80%, between 2003 and 2006. In
The comma is probably missing here: "chart, it".
chart it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
45 to 54
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2004 rising 60%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
55 to 64 and 65+ this two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
less internet as compared to 16 and 54
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the Internet everyday from 2003-2006.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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