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The chart below shows the people's total spending in perticular European country was spent on various commodities in the year 1958 and 2008.

The chart below shows the people's total spending in perticular European country was spent on various commodities in the year 1958 and 2008. PgNlB
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of cash were spent on various service and facilities by citizens of Europe country in 1958 and 2008. It is observed from the graph that 32% of money expended on food products in 1958. Whereas, the figure dropped, only 12% of money consumed for food in 2008. In contrast, the trend of clothing remained constant, hovered at 16% to 18% in given time intervals. The figure of housing service experienced 22% in the year 1958, whereas after 50 years the figure skyrocketed, reached more than 30% in 2008. On the other hand, although only 7% money was utilized behind luxurious good service, it showed gently surged and ended the year with 17%. Moreover, the interest about entertainment services was higher in 1958; thus, 13% cash were consumed on this facility. While, the ratio about entertainment commodity plummet by 6% in 2008. Overall, it is inspecting from the chart that expenditure on all commodity showed sharp changes with respect to time; however, only clothing section remain plateau in given time period.
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of cash
were spent
on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and facilities by citizens of Europe country in 1958 and 2008. It
is observed
from the graph that 32% of money expended on food products in 1958. Whereas, the figure dropped,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12% of money consumed for food in 2008.
In contrast
, the trend of clothing remained constant, hovered at 16% to 18% in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time intervals. The figure of housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
experienced 22% in the year 1958, whereas after 50 years the figure skyrocketed, reached more than 30% in 2008.
On the other hand
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% money
was utilized
behind luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
gently
surged and ended the year with 17%.
Moreover
, the interest about entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
was higher in 1958;
thus
, 13% cash
were consumed
on this facility.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the ratio about entertainment commodity plummet by 6% in 2008.
Overall
, it is inspecting from the chart that expenditure on all commodity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
sharp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with respect to time;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
clothing section remain plateau in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the people's total spending in perticular European country was spent on various commodities in the year 1958 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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