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The graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030

The graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030 nRjRK
The line chart indicates the proportion of population in cities of 4 countries, namely USA, Korea, China and India over the course of 60 years starting in 1970. Looking at the graph, it is clear that the percentage of people who live in China and India experienced an upward trend after maintaining the same level, while a consistent increase was seen in that of those who are in USA and Korea. Throughout the period, people residing in USA registered the highest figures out of 4 countries examined. At the beginning of the period, the aggregate population rate in USA recorded 70%. This figure witnessed a progressive growth to 90% between 1970 and 2020. From then, it is predicted that there will be no change until 2030. In Korea the percentage of residents boomed to around 88% in 2020. According to current predictions, proportion of people who live in Korea will go up slightly. In 1970, the rate of population in China remained unchanged at 20% from 1970 to 1990 before soaring considerably to about 65% by 2020. This figure is expected to rise moderately over the course of 10 years. A similar pattern was experienced in India, where population rate stayed stable from 1970 to 1980. This figure grew slowly to about 35% in 2020. Forecasts that it will remain this trend until 2030.
The line chart indicates the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in cities of 4 countries,
namely
USA, Korea, China and India over the course of 60 years starting in 1970.

Looking at the graph, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in China and India experienced an upward trend after maintaining the same level, while a consistent increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in that of those who are
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Korea. Throughout the period,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
registered the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
out of 4 countries examined.

At the beginning of the period, the aggregate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rate
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
recorded 70%. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
witnessed a progressive growth to 90% between 1970 and 2020. From then, it
is predicted
that there will be no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
until 2030. In Korea the percentage of residents boomed to around 88% in 2020. According to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
predictions, proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Korea will go up
slightly
.

In 1970, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in China remained unchanged at 20% from 1970 to 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
soaring
considerably
to about 65% by 2020. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise
moderately
over the course of 10 years. A similar pattern
was experienced
in India, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rate stayed stable from 1970 to 1980. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
grew
slowly
to about 35% in 2020. Forecasts that it will remain this trend until 2030.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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