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The maps show the transformation of the village of Eastminster over a ten year period

The maps show the transformation of the village of Eastminster over a ten year period 0no69
The visual illustrates changes to the small village of Eastminster between 1999 and 2009. The river divides the map in two areas. In the north area, the woodland was transformed into an adventure park and it maintained its original dimensions. On the opposite, in the north-east, part of the area occupied by the park was used to build new houses. the large house with garden was transformed into a hotel with golf course. In the south area, the school was moved to the other side of the river near the hotel. In its place, a shopping center has been built. In addition, the nearby hospital has increased in size, while shops and railway station have not changed. The street of houses present in 1999 have been replaced by apartments blocks, while the public garden in the nearby was substituted by new houses. Finally, new factories and warehouses have been constructed next to the rails.
The visual illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
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small
village of
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Eastminster
between 1999 and 2009. The river divides the map in two
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areas
. In the north
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area
, the woodland
was transformed
into an adventure park and it maintained its original dimensions. On the opposite, in the north-east, part of the
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area
occupied by the park was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build new
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houses
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
large
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house
with garden
was transformed
into a hotel with golf course. In the south
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area
, the school was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the other side of the river near the hotel. In its place, a shopping center has
been built
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, the nearby hospital has increased in size, while shops and railway station have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The street of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "presents"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'present' is not always incorrect.)
present
in 1999 have
been replaced
by apartments blocks, while the public garden in the nearby
was substituted
by new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
Finally
, new factories and warehouses have
been constructed
next
to the rails.

IELTS academic The maps show the transformation of the village of Eastminster over a ten year period

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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