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The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This bar chart indicates travel to and from school using a different mode of transport by children whose age is between 5 to 12 in the years 1920 and 2010 in one country. Most children preferred walking as a mode of transportation. It was around 12 million children. Only 2 million children use cycling as a mode of transportation in the year of 2010. Children who took the car in the year 1990 were 4 million and 11 million in the year 2010. Transportation mode by walking has the highest demand in the year 1990 as 12. 5 million preferred that, while only 6 million children walked for the commute in 2010. Cycling has a very low demand in the year 2010 because only 2 million children used it, In contrast, 6 million children used to travel by cycling in the year 1990. In addition, children who took trips by walking and bus are almost similar to cycling. Bus transportation has not much difference in the year 1990 and 2010 with 6. 5 million and 5. 5 million travellers respectively.
This bar chart indicates travel to and from school using a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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mode
of transport by
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children
whose age is
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 5 to 12
in the years 1920 and 2010 in one country. Most
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children
preferred walking as a
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mode
of
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transportation
. It was around 12
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million
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children
.
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Only
2
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million
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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cycling
as a
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mode
of
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transportation
in the
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year
of
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2010. Children
who took the car in the
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year
1990 were 4
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million
and 11
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million
in the
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year
2010.
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Transportation
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mode
by walking has the highest demand in the
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year
1990 as 12. 5
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million
preferred that, while
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only
6
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million
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children
walked for the commute in
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2010. Cycling
has a
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very
low demand in the
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year
2010
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because
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only
2
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million
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it,
In contrast
, 6
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million
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel by
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cycling
in the
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year
1990.
In addition
,
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children
who took trips by walking and bus are almost similar to
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cycling
. Bus
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transportation
has not much difference in the
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year
1990 and 2010 with 6. 5
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million
and 5. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake. ‘travellers’ is British English.
travellers
respectively
.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.