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The chart below shows the number of car trips taken by men and women for different purposes per day in a European city.

The chart below shows the number of car trips taken by men and women for different purposes per day in a European city. 8LONk
A glance at the diagram illustrates highlights some considerable differences and similarities between the purpose of using car trips of females and males in European city. It is evident that the figures of the use of car in shopping and working experienced a significant upward trend for both men and women. While eating out and meeting friends are lower than another purpose. Looking at the chart more detail, the number of men which results in going to work is higher than the rates of women, by approximately 180 trips and 130 trips respectively. In comparison with shopping, the rates of shopping of women has highest at 150 trips as compared to men which was slightly decline of 10 trips. Especially, A substantial growth at 130 trips is seen in the number of men in talking children to school while the figure of men just only 90 trips. Moreover, the proportion of men in entertainment is higher than the number of women with 65 trips and 50 trips respectively. In comparison with meeting friends and eating out, which the lowest the rates of car trips by females and males are estimated about 20 trips.
A glance at the diagram illustrates highlights
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerable differences and similarities between the purpose of using car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
of females and males in European city.

It is evident that the figures of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of car in shopping and working experienced a significant upward trend for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. While eating out and meeting friends are lower than another purpose.

Looking at the chart more detail, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
which results in going to work is higher than the rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, by approximately 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
and 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
respectively
.
In comparison
with shopping, the rates of shopping of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has highest at 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
which was
slightly
decline of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
.
Especially
, A substantial growth at 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in talking children to school while the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
.
Moreover
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in entertainment is higher than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
and 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
respectively
.
In comparison
with meeting friends and eating out, which the lowest the rates of car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
by females and males
are estimated
about 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of car trips taken by men and women for different purposes per day in a European city.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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