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the chart below shows the mnumber of phone users in four different countries in 2003

the chart below shows the mnumber of phone users in four different countries in 2003 3MyWm
The bar graph indicates the number of people who share the common interest in using phones with mobiles or landlines in four countries such as Thailand, the Philippines, Mexico and Paraguay in 2003. As clear as crystal, given was the significant highest rate with an impressive digit among other nations the percentage of using two items in Mexico. Acrossingly, we can see the vigorous differences about digit in this column chart, using mobiles was the apple of the indigenous people than using landlines very much. The demand of utilizing two gadgets accounted for only a tiny number of human beings in Paraguay detailly just with exactly two millions in mobiles, lower and lower in landlines. The habitants in the Philippines and Paraguay made use of landlines with the small number, all of them under five millions. Moreover, was bigger than fifteen millions in using mobiles almost nations apart from Paraguay
The bar graph indicates the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who share the common interest in using phones with mobiles or landlines in four countries such as Thailand, the Philippines, Mexico and Paraguay in 2003.

As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
as crystal,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
was the significant highest rate with an impressive digit among other nations the percentage of using two items in Mexico.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Acrossingly
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the vigorous differences about digit in this column chart, using mobiles was the apple of the indigenous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than using landlines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. The demand of utilizing two gadgets accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a tiny number of human beings in Paraguay
Possible spelling mistake found.
detailly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with exactly two millions in mobiles, lower and lower in landlines. The habitants in the Philippines and Paraguay made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of landlines with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number, all of them under five millions.
Moreover
, was bigger than fifteen millions in using mobiles almost nations apart from Paraguay
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the mnumber of phone users in four different countries in 2003

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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