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CONSUOTION OF DAIRY PRODUCTS IN THE USA 1970 - 2010

CONSUOTION OF DAIRY PRODUCTS IN THE USA 1970 - 2010 kb0jO
The line graph illustrates information about people in the USA consume four kinds of dairy products (chees, full-fat ice cream, low-fat ice cream and yogurt) from 1970 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen that consumption of chees, fluctuating increasing to reach the peak at the end of the period. On the other hand other milk products, slightly consumed over a period of time. Firstly, in 1970 the consuming of chees was nearly 8 pounds per person, while full-fat ice cream was just over 10 pounds at the same time period. Furthermore, chees consumption was around 17 pounds in 1997, wile full - fat ice cream was the same pounds before start to drop slightly and reach the lowest point by just under 10 pounds per person in 2010, unlike chees which reach the peak by approximately 25 pounds in 2010. Secondly, at the starting of the period, low - fat ice cream was nearly 5 pounds, while yogurt was no one consume it. In other word, low - fat ice cream continue on the same amount in an oscillating manner until the end of the period, compered by yogurt which start rising to reach the peak at just under 10 pounds at the end of the period.
The line graph illustrates information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the USA consume four kinds of dairy products (
Possible spelling mistake found.
chees
, full-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
, low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
and yogurt) from 1970 to 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that consumption of
Possible spelling mistake found.
chees
, fluctuating increasing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the peak at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
On the other hand
other milk products,
slightly
consumed over a
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period
of time.

Firstly
, in 1970 the consuming of
Possible spelling mistake found.
chees
was
nearly
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8 pounds
per person, while full-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over
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10 pounds
at the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
chees
consumption was around
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17 pounds
in 1997, wile full
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
was the same pounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to drop
slightly
and
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reach
the lowest point by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10 pounds
per person in 2010, unlike
Possible spelling mistake found.
chees
which
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reach
the peak by approximately
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25 pounds
in 2010.

Secondly
, at the starting of the
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period
, low
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
was
nearly
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 pounds
, while yogurt was no one consume it. In other word, low
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
continue on the same amount in an oscillating manner until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
,
Did you mean the verb "compared" or the noun "compèred" (master of ceremonies)?
compered
by yogurt which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
rising to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the peak at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10 pounds
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
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IELTS academic CONSUOTION OF DAIRY PRODUCTS IN THE USA 1970 - 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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