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the chart below shows the growth of the elderly people

the chart below shows the growth of the elderly people K3rBM
The table below compares information about the forecast regarding the transformation in the rate of the elderly aged 65 and upper ages in three distinct countries including the UK, Canada, Germany Overall, it is noticeable from the table that the growth rates of the elderly in all the three given countries witnessed an upward trend between 1988 and 2030. Regarding the UK, this country has the lowest proportion of elderly people among the three countries. In 1988, the UK occupied 14, 23 percent- a rather low 16, 32 percent and 20, 45 percent for Canada and Germany. In 2000, this percentage increased slightly to 14, 89 percent of the total population while in 2030 will be predicted to reach the highest figure in the entire period, accounting for 20, 35 percent. Canada is a country with average growth in the proportion of elderly people aged 65 years and upper ages. This rate commenced with 16. 32 percent in 1988, then increased significantly in 2000, accounting for 20. 67 percent and it is forecasted to continue being on the rise to 26. 35 percent by 2030. In Germany, the nation accounts for a comparatively high percentage in the above period compared to its counterpart. In particular, this percentage of Germany has gradually increased from 20, 45 percent in 1988 to 30, 42 percent in 2030.
The table below compares information about the forecast regarding the transformation in the rate of the
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elderly
aged 65 and upper ages in three distinct
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countries
including the UK, Canada, Germany

Overall
, it is noticeable from the table that the growth rates of the
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elderly
in all the three
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given
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countries
witnessed an upward trend between 1988 and 2030.

Regarding the UK, this
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country
has the lowest proportion of
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elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
among the three
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countries
. In 1988, the UK occupied 14, 23
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percent-
a
rather
low 16, 32
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percent
and 20, 45
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percent
for Canada and Germany. In 2000, this percentage increased
slightly
to 14, 89
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percent
of the total population while in 2030 will
be predicted
to reach the highest figure in the entire period, accounting for 20, 35 percent.

Canada is a
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country
with average growth in the proportion of
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elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 65 years and upper ages. This rate commenced with 16. 32
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percent
in 1988, then increased
significantly
in 2000, accounting for 20. 67
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percent
and it
is forecasted
to continue being on the rise to 26. 35
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percent
by 2030.

In Germany, the nation accounts for a
comparatively
high percentage in the above period compared to its counterpart.
In particular
, this percentage of Germany has
gradually
increased from 20, 45
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percent
in 1988 to 30, 42
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2030.
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the growth of the elderly people

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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