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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. YMej
The information about the numbers of spare hours enjoyed by males and females of various employment standards from 1998 to 1999, is illustrated by the assigned bar graph. Overall, it can be explicitly observed that men enjoyed their free time in employed full time, unemployed and retired more than women. It is noticeable, females were enjoyed leisure hours in employed part time and housewives; however, males were not interested in these activities. To begin with, 45 men enjoyed their spare time in full time employment, whereas only 35 women enjoyed full time work as leisure hours. An equal amount of free hours was enjoyed by males was 85 in unemployment and retirement. Likewise, women enjoyed approximately 78 in leisure time unemployed and retired. Moving further, there was just 40 women enjoyed their extra hours in part time employment, but men did not enjoyed in those employment. Just half of females were enjoy leisure hours in housewives. In contrast, males were not enjoy their free time in household chores.
The information about the numbers of spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
standards from 1998 to 1999,
is illustrated
by the assigned bar graph.

Overall
, it can be
explicitly
observed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in employed full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, unemployed and retired more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. It is noticeable, females were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in employed part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and housewives;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were not interested in these activities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 45
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
work as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. An equal amount of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
was 85 in unemployment and retirement.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
approximately 78 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
unemployed and retired.

Moving
further
, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoyed
their extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "enjoy"
enjoyed
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
half of females were
Consider using a past participle here: "enjoyed".
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in housewives.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were not
Consider using a past participle here: "enjoyed".
enjoy
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in household chores.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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