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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. G12B
The information about the male and female who likes to spend their free hours in a typical week were counted in numbers from 1998-99. that is depicted by bar graph. Looking at the information in more detail, the men had enjoyed 45 hours in a average week while doing full time jobs as compered to women they enjoyed 34 hours in a week. No data has given for the part time worker men, and women from this category likes to spend 40 hours of leisure time in a week. Moreover, 50 hours were enjoyed by housewives for free time. Furthermore, the jobless men enjoyed more than 80 hours of leisure time compered to women were noticed less than 80 hours of enjoying a free time in a average week. Letter than the retired men and women counted above 70 hours for enjoying their leisure time in a week. Overall, it is observed that women are more than men for enjoying their free time in a whole week.
The information about the male and female who likes to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in a typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
were counted
in numbers from 1998-99.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is depicted
by bar graph. Looking at the information in more detail, the
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men
had
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enjoyed
45
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hours
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
average
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week
while doing full
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time
jobs as
Did you mean the verb "compared" or the noun "compèred" (master of ceremonies)?
compered
to
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women
they
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enjoyed
34
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hours
in a
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week
. No data has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for the part
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time
worker
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men
, and
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women
from this category likes to spend 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of leisure
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time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Moreover
, 50
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hours
were
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enjoyed
by housewives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
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time
.
Furthermore
, the jobless
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men
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enjoyed
more than 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Did you mean the verb "compared" or the noun "compèred" (master of ceremonies)?
compered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were noticed
less than 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of enjoying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. Letter than the retired
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men
and
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women
counted above 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for enjoying their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Overall
, it
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
for enjoying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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