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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

The following the bar chart illustrates the number of males and females who get pleasure of their spare time in a typical week in five various employment status between the year 1998 and 1999. As can be seen from the graph, the unemployed and retired males experienced maximum leisure time in comparison with the remaining threegroups. On the other hand, rest of other cases the hours of free time enjoyed by females were less than males positions comparatively. It is evident that, males who were unemployed as well as retired spent considerably just over 85 hours on leisure activities whereas females had approximetly 75 hours. Similarly, no data was recorded for men in terms of employed part time and housewives with 40 and 43 respectively. Among full time employed people witnessed about 40 hours of leisure time on average per week compared to the 38 hours of spare time for women.
The following the bar chart illustrates the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pleasure of their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a typical week in five various employment status between the year 1998 and 1999. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph, the unemployed and retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
experienced maximum leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in comparison
with the remaining
Possible spelling mistake found.
threegroups
.
On the other hand
, rest of other cases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
enjoyed by females were less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
positions
comparatively
. It is evident that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
who
were unemployed
as well
as retired spent
considerably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on leisure activities whereas females had
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximetly
75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Similarly
, no data
was recorded
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in terms of employed part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and housewives with 40 and 43
respectively
. Among full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
witnessed about 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on average per week compared to the 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for women.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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