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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. 0AwWB
The bar graph illustrates the number of spare hours enjoyed by males and females with distinct employment status in an average week of the year 1998 and 1999. Overall, it is noticeable that, men and women who were unemployed and retired had more leisure time than working people, and also men in comparison to women had more time for relaxation activities. Looking at the details, as regards full time employed, men who relished preciously 50 hours per week, being higher than women at 40 hours. After that, the ratio of males for unemployed was not quite as high as retired people, around 80 hours and almost 79. Likewise, the females spent of free time in unemployed as effcient as retired categories at a three-quarter hours. With regard to, females, who enjoyed of down time in housewives to exactly halved (50)hours. , which was much higher than part - time employed by approximately 10 hours; however, there were no figure for men of these categories.
The bar graph illustrates the number of spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
enjoyed by males and females with distinct employment status in an average week of the year 1998 and 1999.
Overall
, it is noticeable that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women who
were unemployed
and retired had more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and
also
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men
in comparison
to women had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxation activities.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, as regards full
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time
employed,
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men
who relished
preciously
50
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hours
per week, being higher than women at 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. After that, the ratio of males for unemployed was not quite as high as retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, around 80
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hours
and almost 79.
Likewise
, the females spent of free
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time
in unemployed as
Possible spelling mistake found.
effcient
as retired categories at a three-quarter
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
. With regard to, females, who enjoyed of down
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time
in housewives to exactly halved
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(50)hours
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which was much higher than part
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
employed by approximately 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
;
however
, there were no figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
of these categories.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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