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The first diagram illustrates the process of cement manufacture, and the second diagram shows the materials that go into the production of concrete.

The first diagram illustrates the process of cement manufacture, and the second diagram shows the materials that go into the production of concrete. n61bg
The first diagram illustrates the process of cement manufacture, and the second diagram shows the materials that go into the production of concrete. It is clear that there are five stages in the production of cement, beginning with the input of raw materials and ending with bags of the finished product. To produce concrete, four different materials are mixed together. At the first stage in the production of cement, limestone and clay are crushed to form a powder. This powder is then mixed before it passes into a rotating heater. After heating, the resulting mixture is ground, and cement is produced. Finally, the cement is packaged in large bags. Cement is one of the four raw materials that are used in the production of concrete, along with gravel, sand and water. To be exact, concrete consists of 50% gravel, 25% sand, 15% cement and 10% water. All four materials are blended together in a rotating machine called a concrete mixer.
The
first
diagram illustrates the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
manufacture, and the second diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
that go into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of concrete.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are five stages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, beginning with the input of raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and ending with bags of the finished product. To produce concrete, four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are mixed
together.

At the
first
stage in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, limestone and clay
are crushed
to form a powder. This powder is then mixed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it passes into a rotating heater. After heating, the resulting mixture
is ground
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is produced
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is packaged
in large bags.

Cement is one of the four raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of concrete, along with gravel, sand and water. To be exact, concrete consists of 50% gravel, 25% sand, 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and 10% water. All four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are blended
together in a rotating machine called a concrete mixer.
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IELTS academic The first diagram illustrates the process of cement manufacture, and the second diagram shows the materials that go into the production of concrete.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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