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The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000 in Someland.

The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000 in Someland. n9Ye
The bar graph represents that how many people as per their genders opted for membership in fitness starting from 1970 to 2000. Overall, it can be explicitly observed that memberships for men fluctuated drastically, whereas, for women, it stayed relatively steady. Adding to that, 1995 can be considered as the best performing-year for both of them. With regards to the first five years, their difference remained exactly half for 1970 as well as for 1975; while their growth rate doubled in individual levels. In 1980, a slight decline was noticed for women, in contrast to that, memberships fell by 500 for men, that is, 1900 and 2500 respectively. Furthermore, a reverse trend appeared in 1985, and 1990, ladies outnumbered gents by soaring to approximately 2900, however, rates for men dropped by again 500. In the latter year variation were almost neutral, despite women were in the lead. A drastic change occurred in 1995, men surpassed women, where former was at 5000, whilst later was at 2900 similar to 1985. They both exchanged roles in 2000 as now the women opted for twice for memberships than the men; contrast to 1970.
The bar graph represents that how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as per their genders opted for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in fitness starting from 1970 to 2000.
Overall
, it can be
explicitly
observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
fluctuated
drastically
, whereas, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, it stayed
relatively
steady. Adding to that, 1995 can
be considered
as the best performing-year for both of them.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
first
five years, their difference remained exactly half for 1970
as well
as for 1975; while their growth rate doubled in individual levels. In 1980, a slight decline
was noticed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
in contrast
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
fell by 500 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
that is
, 1900 and 2500
respectively
.

Furthermore
, a reverse trend appeared in 1985, and 1990, ladies outnumbered gents by soaring to approximately 2900,
however
, rates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
dropped by again 500. In the latter year variation were almost neutral, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were in the lead. A drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
occurred in 1995,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
surpassed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, where former was at 5000, whilst later was at 2900 similar to 1985. They both exchanged roles in 2000 as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
opted for twice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
; contrast to 1970.

IELTS academic The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000 in Someland.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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