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The chart below shows information about ticket sales for performances at the National Theatre over a six-month period.

The chart below shows information about ticket sales for performances at the National Theatre over a six-month period. QllMx
The given table plainly illustrate the ticket sales of five performances at national theater from January to June. All in all, it could be noticed that humorous situation performance made by national mime troupe got the highest number of tickets were sold out. However, as it is presented in the figure only 2500 people went to the theater for carmen by the city opera thespian. In addition, as can be seen obviously in the diagram, unfortunately it is the lowest number of tickets were out-of-stock. On the other hand, similarly as can be also seen apparently swan lake and rocket stars live had noticed 4750 were sold out for the tickets as well. Finally, it is explicitly observed that works of Beethoven is made by national sympathy orchestra
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
plainly
illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
sales of five performances at national theater from January to June. All in all, it could
be noticed
that humorous situation performance made by national mime troupe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were sold
out.
However
, as it
is presented
in the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2500
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went to the theater for
Possible spelling mistake found.
carmen
by the city opera
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Thespian".
thespian
.
In addition
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
obviously
in the diagram, unfortunately it is the lowest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were out-of-stock.
On the other hand
,
similarly
as can be
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
apparently
swan lake and rocket stars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
had noticed 4750
were sold
out for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
as well
.
Finally
, it is
explicitly
observed that works of Beethoven
is made
by national sympathy orchestra

IELTS academic The chart below shows information about ticket sales for performances at the National Theatre over a six-month period.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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