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Calorie consumption of selected countries in 1975 and 2000

Calorie consumption of selected countries in 1975 and 2000 YRRbB
The chart illustrates the information regarding the caloric energy intake in 7 selected countries in 1975 and 2000. Overall, it’s clear that people of Brazil had a highest dietary energy consumption in 1975 and 2000, while, people of Bangladesh had least calorie intake in both years. Also, in 2000 china possessed a highest amount of calorie consumption which is almost same or nearly above Brazil. In detail, China had a great increase in the amount of calorie consumption from 2000- 3000 calories in 1975 and 2000 respectively. Similarly, there is an increase in intake of calories in Indonesia from 2000 calories to nearly 3000 calories. Also, Nigeria had a raised consumption of calories from more or less 2100 calories in 1975 and 2700 calories in 2000. The Indians maintained a calorie hike of 500 calories in 2000 than in 1975. By contrast, the countries such as Pakistan and Bangladesh had comparatively less increase in calorie consumption than other countries. Pakistan was in 2nd position with a calorie intake of 2300 in the year 1975, but in the year 2000 the intake was 2500. Finally, the people of Bangladesh had the least consumption of dietary calories in both the years.
The chart illustrates the information regarding the caloric energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
in 7 selected countries in 1975 and 2000.

Overall
, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Brazil had
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest dietary energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in 1975 and 2000, while,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Bangladesh had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
calorie
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intake
in both years.
Also
, in 2000 china possessed
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest amount of calorie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
which is almost same or
nearly
above Brazil.

In detail, China had a great increase in the amount of calorie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2000 to 3000"?
from 2000- 3000
calories in 1975 and 2000
respectively
.
Similarly
, there is an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of calories in Indonesia from 2000 calories to
nearly
3000 calories.
Also
, Nigeria had a raised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of calories from more or less 2100 calories in 1975 and 2700 calories in 2000. The Indians maintained a calorie hike of 500 calories in 2000 than in 1975.

By contrast, the countries such as Pakistan and Bangladesh had
comparatively
less increase in calorie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
than other countries. Pakistan was in 2nd position with a calorie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of 2300 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1975,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
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year
2000 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
was 2500.
Finally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of Bangladesh had the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of dietary calories in both the years.
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IELTS academic Calorie consumption of selected countries in 1975 and 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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