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The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist market (IELTS BOOK 3 TEST 1)

The bar chart demonstrates how many Japanese travelers went overseas on their holidays over a decade while the line graph shows the proportion of Japanese tourists chose Australia as their vacation destination during the same period. Overall, it is clear that there is an upward trend in the number of Japanese citizens traveled abroad and that the percentage of them visiting Australia rose gradually over the given period. In 1985, the number of Japanese people traveling to foreign countries was merely 5 million which had increased steadily to approximately 11 million by 1990 before falling slightly in 1991. In the next two years, the figures remained relatively stable, with about 12 million before rising again to around 15 million by the end of the period. In the beginning of the period, Although Australia had not have any place in Japanese tourist market, it raised its share to around 5% by the year 1989. Afterwards, there was a marginal drop to just above 4% in the proportion of Japanese visitors who traveled to Australia, followed by a gradual increase to just above 6% by 1994. Finally, the percentage fell again to 6% in the last year.

The bar chart demonstrates how This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 Japanese travelers went overseas on their holidays over a decade while the line graph This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratesportraysindicatesdisplays
shows
 the proportion of Japanese tourists chose Australia as their vacation destination during the same You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtermspanstretchseasonagecourse
period
. Overall
, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that there is an upward trend in the number of Japanese citizens traveled abroad and that the percentage of them visiting Australia rose gradually
 over the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtermspanstretchseasonagecourse
period
. In 1985, the number of Japanese This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 traveling to foreign countries was merely
 5 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withthousandtrillionmuchlottotalsum
million
 which had increased steadily
 to approximately 11 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withthousandtrillionmuchlottotalsum
million
 by 1990 This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 falling slightly
 in 1991. In the next
 two years, the figures remained relatively
 stable, with about 12 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withthousandtrillionmuchlottotalsum
million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 rising again to around 15 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withthousandtrillionmuchlottotalsum
million
 by the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtermspanstretchseasonagecourse
period
. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
 the beginning of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtermspanstretchseasonagecourse
period
, Although Australia had not Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: “had”.had
have
 any place in Japanese tourist market, it raised its share to around 5% by the year 1989. Afterwards, there was a marginal drop to This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 above 4% in the proportion of Japanese visitors who traveled to Australia, followed by a gradual increase to This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 above 6% by 1994. Finally
, the percentage fell again to 6% in the last year. 