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The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances

The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances GwWew
The given line graphs illustrate the proportion of people having access to three types of appliances and the time used by households on housework in a specific country during a period of 99-year. It is clear that totally, there has been an upward trends in the usage of these given devices among households. However, families have devoted less time to cleaning due to having wide access to such devices. In 1992, the percentage of washing machine and vacuum cleaner used by households were around 40% and 30% respectively. however this figure for refrigerator was negligible in the first year, afterward it increased sharply and hit a high of full 100% in 1998, then levelled off toward the end of period. likewise, the proportion of people got hold of vacuum cleaner experienced a remarkable growth and reach the same amount of refrigerator in 2000 and then remained stable until 2019. At first the usage of washing machine rose gradually to 70% while, it was surpassed by refrigerator and fluctuated between 65% and 70% onwards. Moving to time was spend on tidying up house by households. In 1992 the number of time stood in 50 per week, although it saw and rapid decline to 20 in 1960, continuing to hit a low of one in twenty in 2019.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graphs illustrate the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having access to three types of appliances and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
on housework in a specific country during a period of 99-year.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
totally
, there has been an upward trends in the usage of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
devices among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
.
However
, families have devoted less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cleaning due to having wide access to such devices.

In 1992, the percentage of washing machine and vacuum cleaner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
were around 40% and 30%
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
this figure for refrigerator was negligible in the
first
year, afterward it increased
sharply
and hit a high of full 100% in 1998, then levelled off toward the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hold of vacuum cleaner experienced a remarkable growth and reach the same amount of refrigerator in 2000 and then remained stable until 2019. At
first
the usage of washing machine rose
gradually
to 70% while, it
was surpassed
by refrigerator and fluctuated between 65% and 70% onwards.

Moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on tidying up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
. In 1992 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
stood in 50 per week, although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
and rapid decline to 20 in 1960, continuing to hit a low of one in twenty in 2019.

IELTS academic The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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