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gym membership for both genders

gym membership for both genders Ep9XM
The line graph illustrates gym membership for both genders in a 30 years period of time, starting from 1980 until 2010. At the start of the given period, the number of men was double the number of women with a gym membership and both was relativly increasing. However, before 1990, the number of male individuals joining gyms started to decrease while the number of female individuals kept increasing. With that in mind, the number of females at gyms was more btween 1990 and 2000. In 2000, the number of men sky rocketed and reached its peak at the given period. The highest number of the male membership is about 5000, which is in 2005. On the other hand, the highest number of female membership is just under 3000 in 1995 and 2005. A significant drop of men numbers started in 2005 from 5000 subscriber to under 1000 subscriber in 2010.
The line graph illustrates
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gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
for both genders in a 30 years period of time, starting from 1980 until 2010.

At the
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start
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was double the
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number
of women with a
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gym
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membership
and both was
Possible spelling mistake found.
relativly
increasing.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
1990, the
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number
of male individuals joining
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gyms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of female individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing. With that in mind, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of females at
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gyms
was more
Possible spelling mistake found.
btween
1990 and 2000. In 2000, the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sky rocketed
and reached its peak at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

The highest
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number
of the male
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membership
is about 5000, which is in 2005.
On the other hand
, the highest
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number
of female
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membership
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 3000 in 1995 and 2005. A significant drop of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 2005 from 5000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'subscriber' seems to be countable, so consider using: "subscribers".
subscriber
to under 1000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'subscriber' seems to be countable, so consider using: "subscribers".
subscriber
in 2010.
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IELTS academic gym membership for both genders

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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