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The pictorial is of a line graph, and it illustrates the information about the ratio of residents from UK, Asia and others part of the world who were living in Australia from 1976 to 2011. The data is given in percentage.

The pictorial is of a line graph, and it illustrates the information about the ratio of residents from UK, Asia and others part of the world who were living in Australia from 1976 to 2011. The data is given in percentage. RyWeG
Overall, it is readily apparent that the ratio of Asians, other part of world residents and the total citizens was in upward trend. However, the frequency of UK citizens was in downward trend. To begin, around 11% of the citizens were recorded who were from other part of the world in the very first year. In the later years, it went down slowly, and accounted for approximately 9% till 1991. Between 1991 and 2006, its ratio surged significantly, and again it declined steadily in the end, and comprised at around 13%. The ratio of UK residents who were living in Australia initiate with 14% in the very first year, and its ratio hovered between the range of 10% and 6%, and ends with 5% in the year 2011Furthermore, from 1976 to 2006, the frequency of Asian residents went up drastically, and in the subsequent years, it inclined slowly, and accounted for 15%. During the period of 1976 and 1996, the proportion of total residents dropped significantly, and numbered at 19%. In the following years, it plunged sharply and reached at 25% in 2011.
Overall
, it is
readily
apparent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of Asians, other part of world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
and the total citizens was in upward trend.
However
, the frequency of UK citizens was in downward trend. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, around 11% of the citizens
were recorded
who were from other part of the world in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In the later years, it went down
slowly
, and accounted for approximately 9% till 1991. Between 1991 and 2006, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
surged
significantly
, and again it declined
steadily
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, and comprised at around 13%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
who were living in Australia initiate with 14% in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
hovered between the range of 10% and 6%, and ends with 5% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011Furthermore, from 1976 to 2006, the frequency of Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
went up
drastically
, and in the subsequent years, it inclined
slowly
, and accounted for 15%. During the period of 1976 and 1996, the proportion of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
dropped
significantly
, and numbered at 19%. In the following years, it plunged
sharply
and reached at 25% in 2011.
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IELTS academic The pictorial is of a line graph, and it illustrates the information about the ratio of residents from UK, Asia and others part of the world who were living in Australia from 1976 to 2011. The data is given in percentage.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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