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The chart below show movie preferences in the country of Evonia for people aged from 20-35 years, 36-50 years, and 51-65 years.

The chart below show movie preferences in the country of Evonia for people aged from 20-35 years, 36-50 years, and 51-65 years. k6GVO
The supplied pie charts represent the movie choices along three age groups between 20 and 35; 36 and 50; 51 and 65 in the country of Evonia. In general, in the three age groups mentioned, the two younger age are similar with the distinction is only about 3-5%, whereas the elderly group is 2-3 times difference. Besides, romantic movies hold the most stable viewership among five movie types: 22% for youngsters, 19% for middle-aged people and the elderly account for 20%. Young (20-35) and middle-aged(36-50) people enjoy action movies and animations. First of all, animations’ viewer in the youngest age go for 28% but decrese 3% in the preference of people between 20 and 35; for the elder, this percentage falls 2. 5 times off. The same structure happens with actions flims, the number of youngters enjoy this genre account for 24%, and 20% people prefer it in the middle-aged which is nearly three times higher than the proportion of senior citizen. The most popular movie choices in the ederly group is documentaries and dramas. It can be seen that documentary and drama movies has the similar proportion with the difference that is not more than 4% in all three age group. While documentary has 11% youngters and 16% people aged from 36-50 years go for it, drama has 15 and 20%, respectively. Especially in the percentage of the elder viewers, documentary has 31%, less than drama movies only 1% with 32% people enjoy it.
The supplied pie charts represent the
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movie
choices along three
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age
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groups
between 20 and 35; 36 and 50; 51 and 65 in the country of
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Evonia
.

In general
, in the three
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age
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groups
mentioned, the two younger
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age
are similar with the distinction is
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only
about 3-5%, whereas the elderly
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group
is 2-3 times difference.
Besides
, romantic
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movies
hold the most stable viewership among five
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movie
types: 22% for youngsters, 19% for middle-aged
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people
and the elderly account for 20%.

Young (20-35) and middle-aged(36-50)
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people
enjoy action
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movies
and animations.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, animations’ viewer in the youngest
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age
go for 28%
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but
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decrese
3% in the preference of
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people
between 20 and 35; for the elder, this percentage falls 2. 5 times off. The same structure happens with actions
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flims
, the number of
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youngters
enjoy this genre account for 24%, and 20%
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people
prefer it in the middle-aged which is
nearly
three times higher than the proportion of senior citizen.

The most popular
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movie
choices in the
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ederly
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group
is
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documentaries
and
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dramas
. It can be
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seen
that
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documentary
and
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drama
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movies
has the similar proportion with the difference
that is
not more than 4% in all three
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age
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group
. While
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documentary
has 11%
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youngters
and 16%
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people
aged from 36-50 years go for it,
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drama
has 15 and 20%,
respectively
.
Especially
in the percentage of the elder viewers,
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documentary
has 31%, less than
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drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% with 32%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy it.
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IELTS academic The chart below show movie preferences in the country of Evonia for people aged from 20-35 years, 36-50 years, and 51-65 years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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