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The chart below illustrates the use of tobacco product

The chart below illustrates the use of tobacco product aqEXV
The given bar graph shows that, the student of middle and high school utilized the different types of tobacco items at present. Overall it is clear that, students of high school had the maximum propotion of any use and it is interesting to note that both types of students figures was decrease trend. Among the high school students the most popular product was any use while pipes had the least percentage in this figure. cigarettes was used around 8% of students in the middle school as well as cigas had use approximately 7% of student in the middle school. cigarettes was used large number of amount high school students rather than middle school. The used of smokeless, pipes and bidis was the almost equal numbers among the high school students which was 3%. All types of products show the large number of percentage high school rather than middle school.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, the
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student
of
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middle
and
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
utilized the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of tobacco items at present.
Overall
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that,
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students
of
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high
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school
had the maximum
Possible spelling mistake found.
propotion
of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and it is interesting to note that both types of
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students
figures was decrease trend. Among the
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the most popular product was any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
while pipes had the least percentage in this figure.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cigarettes
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
around 8% of
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students
in the
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middle
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school
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
cigas
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "used".
use
approximately 7% of
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student
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cigarettes
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
large number of amount
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rather
than
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middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of smokeless, pipes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bidis
was the almost equal numbers among the
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which was 3%. All types of products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the large number of percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS academic The chart below illustrates the use of tobacco product

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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