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The chart below illustrates the percentage of women pursuing specific college majors.

The chart below illustrates the percentage of women pursuing specific college majors. o5R83
The line graph shows the orientation of the women after the school and especially their percentage when they continue in specific college major. Overall, we can see that the rates of the women know a significative increase on all the period in each college except just one: the computer science which knows a decrease during 25 years. According to the graph, the specific college majors with the highest growth is the Law School with 49% in 2010. However, we notice that the second and third college have almost the same percentage with just 5-6 % less than the first. Besides, for the computer science the gap is very important. Even if, all the rates grow but with instability it's the only specific college who knows a drop. To conclude, the women usually pursuing in specific college majors more and more since 1970 with an amazing evolution except for Computer Science.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the orientation of the women after the school and
especially
their percentage when they continue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
college major.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the rates of the women know a
Possible spelling mistake found.
significative
increase on all the period in each college except
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one: the computer science which knows a decrease during 25 years.

According to the graph, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
college majors with the highest growth is the Law School with 49% in 2010.

However
, we notice that the second and third college have almost the same percentage with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5-6 % less than the
first
.

Besides
, for the computer science the gap is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Even if, all the rates grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with instability it's the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
college who knows a drop.

To conclude
, the women
usually
pursuing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
college majors more and more since 1970 with an amazing evolution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Computer Science.
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IELTS academic The chart below illustrates the percentage of women pursuing specific college majors.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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