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The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%).

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). 6b5G
The given column chart provides information of issues which got reported by UK citizens in 2008. Overall, it is clear that the most issues occurred in Cardiff, Belfast and Birmingham. Moreover, the issues were connected to the health service and in London and Glasgow to education and training. First of all, one can see that in all UK cities air pollution issues were reported with the fewest percentages. Manchester has with 15% the most problems with air pollution and Newcastle the lowest with only 5%. Furthermore, the problems in the sector education and training, significantly increase in contrast to the reported problems in air pollution. It was most problematic in Glasgow and London with 52% and in Birmingham and Belfast with 51%. However, the reported problems by UK citizens on health services are the highest out of all. Belfast holds the highest percentage with 58% and after that Cardiff with 57%. Contrastly, Glasgow only reach 48% of reported problems in the sector of health services.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column chart provides information of
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issues
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
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reported
by UK citizens in 2008.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
occurred in Cardiff, Belfast and Birmingham.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
were connected
to the health service and in London and Glasgow to education and training.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in all UK cities air pollution
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issues
were
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reported
with the fewest percentages. Manchester has with 15% the most
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problems
with air pollution and Newcastle the lowest with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the sector education and training,
significantly
increase
in contrast
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in air pollution. It was most problematic in Glasgow and London with 52% and in Birmingham and Belfast with 51%.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by UK citizens on health services are the highest out of all. Belfast holds the highest percentage with 58% and after that Cardiff with 57%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Contrastly
, Glasgow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reach 48% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the sector of health services.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%).

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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